Anger Control Examples

Anger Control Self Evaluation Questionnaire

"Self-awareness has a more powerful effect on strong, aversive feelings: the realization 'This is anger I'm feeling' offers a greater degree of freedom - not just the option not to act on it, but the added option to try to let go of it."

- P. 48 Mayer [in EQ]

Exercise 1. I use self control when necessary.

The art of soothing self is a fundamental life skill. Some psychoanalytic thinkers list this skill to be one the most essential psychic tool.

-John Bowlby and D.W. Winnicott

Notes for application - (Patience, being on time, anger) Assignment.

Students talk to adults they know who are patient, usually on time, and control their temper.

They ask if they purposely developed the traits - to what do they contribute their success? What satisfaction does the habit give them

The objective is for students to communicate with positive adults about meaningful behavior, rapport, and establishing adult relationships.) p. 7 in Fostering Resiliency

NOTE: Emily Warner lists "required helpfulness" as a factor to develop resiliency. To be a benefit to others helps students to develop the character that translates into resiliency. (Against All Odds, Emily Warner)

Exercise 2. I know what works for me when I am upset.

Optimism, like hope, is a strong expectation that, in general; things will turn out all right in life, despite setbacks and frustrations. Martin Seligman defines optimism as how people explain to themselves their successes and failures. M. Seligman is a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania.

Notes for application - Catharsis - vent for anger. Since the fifties, scholars have learned that venting does little or nothing to dispel anger. Tice found that venting anger is one of the worst ways to cool down - outbursts of rage typically pump up the emotional brain's arousal and leaves people feeling more angry, not less.

One way to defusing anger is to seize on and challenge the thoughts that triggered the surges of anger. It is the original appraisal of an interaction that confirms and encourages the first burst of anger, and the subsequent reappraisals that fan the flames. (Redford Williams) - Be aware of hostile thoughts - write them in words to capture them for reappraisal and challenge.

Exercise 3. Self control is easier when I am in a good mood

Stress aggravates anger.

When hungry or tired, one becomes angry more easily. In the conclusions of University of Alabama psychologist Dolf Zillmann, a generalized adrenal and cortical excitation can last for hours and even days. [a change of chemistry in the brain due to anger]. The hair-trigger condition explains why people are more prone to anger if they are already provoked or irritated.

Notes for application -

1. Zillmann comments that roots of anger are in the fight wing of the fight-or-flight response
2. a universal trigger for anger is danger. Danger can be signaled not just by an physical threat.
3. As is more often the case, danger is a symbolic threat to self-esteem or dignity:
   • being treated unjustly or rudely
   • being insulted or demeaned
   • being frustrated in pursuing an important goal.
4. turn out all right in life, despite setbacks and frustrations,
5. buffers people against falling into apathy, hopelessness, or depression in te face of tough going.
6. Seligman defines optimism how people explain to themselves their successes and failures.
7. Students answer the questions below. - What is a good mood? Happy, things are going my way, people are nice to me, I'm able to do my work, I feel happy, am accomplishing what I want to do, I have a plan and I am accomplishing my plan, I am in control of my life, my friends are good to me, everyone is friendly.

Exercise 4. The best time to control my temper is before I say or do anything.

• Timing matters;
• the earlier in the anger cycle the more effective is anger control.
• Anger can be completely short-circuited if the mitigating information comes before the anger is acted upon. - Dolf Zillmann

1. Exercise 4 presents information to help stents recall effectiveness in their experience. "I control my temper better before I speak or act." "I stay out of trouble better when I contl my temper before I speak or act."
2. This requires monitoring thoughts and realizing that one does not have to believe them. Aaron Beck is a forerunner of Cognitive Therapy.

Exercise 5. Self Talk When I am Angry

1. Provide sayings [self talk] for the students to choose ones they like.
2. Are students with low verbal abilities affected by a lack of inner language?
3. The inner voice of self talk enables many children to stop and think and consider their behavior and the consequences before they act.
4. “With the contemplation of the possible need of students to learn an inner language, the prudence of learning self talk phrases arises.” (See Taming the Tiger: Helping Children with Anger Control #24)

[From a sheet of phrases for self talk re: anger, students choose ones to fit various situations. Consider including self talk phrases in a plan of action.

Student groups can make plans of action self talk to stimulate new actions.